Tag Archives: Fixer Upper

Things That Rhyme With Shiplap

Trying to watch just one episode is like a trap.
I’m lost in Waco, Texas without a map
or GPS. From Joanna, a friendly, little slap
to straighten me out. She won’t take my crap.
But oh, that Chip, he makes my heart go pitter pat.
All salvaged wood is useful, thin or fat—
it doesn’t matter. Other shows talk claptrap.
Season after season, that’s a wrap.
I do worry they’re anti-gay. I wish I could snap
my fingers and somehow suddenly, magically transplant
a couple of lesbians in a really good relationship
into an episode. Chip could sit in their lap.

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